My oldest son, Brandon Blake Knemeyer, was born when I was just 20. At the time I had a very poor relationship with my parents, was trying to break as far away from the family as possible, and – having been scarred growing up by being made fun of for my own unusual name – wanted to make sure his name was as cool, understandable and clear as possible. That was my sole criteria for choosing and I think I succeeded; my friends at the time certainly thought it was cool, and Brandon today is a pretty cool cat.
My second son, Alexander Johannes Knemeyer, was born when I was 22. Here you see the beginning of my shifting to show in interest in my family history. While my relations with both parents remained poor, I was starting to learn about my German heritage and take pride in it. I still wanted to make sure that he had a name that would always be easy and understandable (Alexander) but now also wanted to capture our family history in some way. The name “Johannes” shows up twice in our family tree – my great, great, great, great, great, great, great (that’s 7 greats!) grandfather (1675-?) and my great, great, great, great, great (5 this time) grandfather (1749-1817) – and is the ethnic name of one of my idols at the time, Honus Wagner.
By the time my third child and first daughter, Elena Marie Knemeyer, was born, I was 36 and had a much different view of the world. Enjoying a good relationship with my mother (and my father, before he passed away) and now extremely knowledgable about the history of our family, I also had enjoyed a great deal of real-life success and was largely a fully baked adult. Whereas I picked the names of my first two on my own, now my wife and I were working together and had very different ideas. I wanted something very classic and timeless – Katherine would have been my pick – my wife wanted names that, to me, had a “stripper vibe” – Katja was her favourite. “Elena” became a compromise name we both liked and I’m very happy it did. “Marie” is named after our mothers: mine Mary (Anglo), hers Maria (German), we went with the French form to bridge the two.
Finally now is Soren Morton Knemeyer. At 38 my self-esteem – contrary to when I was in my early 20′s – was very high, and as above my family relations were strong. I wanted a name that was different but not weird, something that conveyed some uniqueness and very specific personality. We actually had agreed on Soren for Elena (before we knew the gender, if she had been a boy) so it seemed a slam dunk as the first name. But Sigrid wanted to use the German pronunciation, I saw him enduring the ridicule that I did growing up, and we equivocated for a while. Finally we came back to Soren – I had liked it ever since first reading Kierkegaard, thought the “slash o” in the traditional form was awesome, and we seemed to be all set…except I decided that I really, really, really wanted a family name. The problem is all of my key male relatives are extremely German, and let’s just say that their names don’t really lend themselves to working in America.
The “best” from a historical perspective would have been Franz. That is the name of the Knemeyer who saved Regensberg castle (Bielefeld) in the middle ages and was thus gifted the farmland that is in our family (a distant branch) to this day. It is also the name of my great, great grandfather, who was the first person in my line to leave the farm and enter the knowledge workforce. After distinguishing himself in the Franco-Prussian war he and his wife left the homestead in the 1880s for the United States, leaving their eldest son – my great grandfather – behind. Ever since we have all worked with our heads. Franz is a tough one name to pass with in the U.S. though and Sigrid wouldn’t go for it.
Another good one is August, because it sounds really nice and is the name of my great grandfather, the headmaster of a school in the former Bokel who served in World War I. In fact, my family’s history of military service goes back over 500 years, until wimpy ol’ me opted out. The problem is many of my uncles/aunts/cousins have used the name August for their children and grandchildren, making it exceptionally common in the family. So, that was out.
My grandfather Siegfried was an important historical figure and would superficially seem like a good choice. But he treated my father terribly, a relationship that haunted dad until the end of his life. Out of respect for dad, I could not go with Siegfried. As it is the male version of my wife’s name, Sigrid, I bet she would have gone for it. But he does not deserve it.
Finally the name I wanted, badly, to go with is Morton. My maternal grandfather was named Morton, and he was my favourite person through much of my life. As he died before any of my children were old enough to know him, and since he is on the maternal side with no male heirs (his eponymously son adopted three children, none of whom used his name with their children) this would likely be the last opportunity to carry this name on. He was a prince of a man, deserving of being remembered, and in the last weeks it became very important to me to name the child Morton. But Sigrid just would not have been happy with it. I suspect that if I really dug my feet in, really took it to the limit, I could have had it. But, as much as that name would have meant so much to me, even more impactful would have been seeing my wife’s annoyance with it over the years.
And so, Soren Morton. Using Morton as the middle makes it less likely that it is really carried on someday in important ways, but at least it is in the mix and gives me a way to tell his story and have it mean something special to someone who shares the name.
I hope at least one of my children takes an interest in our history, and that somewhere along the line “Franz” returns. It is the oldest known name in our family tree and one of considerable importance – twice – to my particular line.
Anyway, I have four wonderful children and cherish them all! Now you know the story of how they each got their names.
